Thursday, 7 April 2011

The castration of Sarkozy

Today I leant on Sarkozys' head whilst he was being castrated.
Not the President of France, but a donkey that my dutch friend (we call her dutch bird) managed to aquire whilst buying a spreader for her tractor.
He is three years old and very cute - although his feet are in a shocking state.

Today the vet came to 'do the deed' so that he can be trained and become a riding donkey for her three year old daughter. As dutch bird is pregnant her husband was in charge of holding the ropes that tethered Sarkozys legs (they call him Sarky for short - the donkey not DB's husband) and I leant on Sarkys drugged up head to keep him as still as possible.

The vet laughed when we told him the donkeys name, although he did say that 80% of farm animals now have the same name - a mark of respect do you think?!!

During the course of the operation I told the vet about a paramedic colleague of mine who went out to a chap who had tied a shoe lace around his testicles and then to the end of the bed to 'heighten' his sensation whilst he made love to his girlfriend. In the heat of passion he fell off the bed, ripping off both his testicles which sat on the floor looking like a couple of lychee apparently. His main concern seemed to be as to whether his wife would find out, to which my colleague pointed out that it wuld probably be quite obvious to her...

The vet then said he had been called out by the fire brigade, who had had a call to a house where a man had come home to his wife who was in bed with their german shepherd. The german shepherd had mounted the wife and was now locked into position and the fire brigade wanted the vet to come as apparently the dog was highly aggitated and ferocious.
"Hadn't he finished?!" I asked the vet...........


  1. Oh dear, this did make me laugh....!

    When a student I had a friend whose father was in the fire brigade...and his tales of the more unorthodox call outs had us rolling....this being the days before sex toys (I suppose), there was the man who had managed to get a part of his anatomy stuck in a ham bone...

    I bet the men don't laugh about it as much as the women, though.

    Oh, and our pigs are named for local and national politicians too....

  2. Other peoples' misfortune - you can't beat it can you!!! Shouldn't laugh but.......

  3. Oh this such a funny blog, made all the more so because I was eating a tomato sarnie at the time, and it was all squishy and runny and oozed dribbles down my chin as I was looking at your first photo!

  4. Oooops a few problems here!!!! He he. Presumably calling a donkey Sarkozy is not a problem, I gather you are not allowed to call a pig Napoleon! Diane

  5. Is that actually true Diane? What would Napoleon do about it?!!!

  6. I'm aghast!!! At the alsation, not the donkey!

  7. True or not I read it somewhere, look at http://www.stupid-laws.net/Stupid-Laws/Stupid-France-Laws-No-pig-may-be-called-Napoleon.htm

  8. I'll do that thanks Diane :0)


Please feel free to leave your comments