Thursday, 7 April 2011
The castration of Sarkozy
Today I leant on Sarkozys' head whilst he was being castrated.
Not the President of France, but a donkey that my dutch friend (we call her dutch bird) managed to aquire whilst buying a spreader for her tractor.
He is three years old and very cute - although his feet are in a shocking state.
Today the vet came to 'do the deed' so that he can be trained and become a riding donkey for her three year old daughter. As dutch bird is pregnant her husband was in charge of holding the ropes that tethered Sarkozys legs (they call him Sarky for short - the donkey not DB's husband) and I leant on Sarkys drugged up head to keep him as still as possible.
The vet laughed when we told him the donkeys name, although he did say that 80% of farm animals now have the same name - a mark of respect do you think?!!
During the course of the operation I told the vet about a paramedic colleague of mine who went out to a chap who had tied a shoe lace around his testicles and then to the end of the bed to 'heighten' his sensation whilst he made love to his girlfriend. In the heat of passion he fell off the bed, ripping off both his testicles which sat on the floor looking like a couple of lychee apparently. His main concern seemed to be as to whether his wife would find out, to which my colleague pointed out that it wuld probably be quite obvious to her...
The vet then said he had been called out by the fire brigade, who had had a call to a house where a man had come home to his wife who was in bed with their german shepherd. The german shepherd had mounted the wife and was now locked into position and the fire brigade wanted the vet to come as apparently the dog was highly aggitated and ferocious.
"Hadn't he finished?!" I asked the vet...........