Friday, 17 September 2010

My girl.

It's hard to believe that it is a year ago today that I lost my wonderful companion of twenty four years, Amber.
I have a mixture of emotions about it really. I used to worry myself silly about her. Was she too hot or too cold, was she eating enough or too much and a whole myriad of other concerns. Of course I miss looking out of the window and seeing my horse out in the field. Being able to do that was a realisation of a dream but my first concern was always that she was happy and living out her days as comfortable and pain free as possible.

In her latter days she used to have a massive problem getting up if she laid down, and there were several times I thought she was never going to get to her feet and that it was the end, but then she would find the strength from somewhere and haul herself up. Once on her feet she was happy as anything and went off to continue her favourite hobby of scoffing grass.

On that final day she laid down and I could just tell she has no intention of even trying. I had a good old chat with her before calling the vet. I felt she had made her own decision, and the fact she was lying down already made her injection less traumatic for us both. I still panicked and felt lost as the injection started to take effect, but in my heart I knew it was the right thing to do.

I always felt that I was privileged to have a horse, and to have one with such a lovely temperament and big heart was a joy. She is irreplaceable and I loved her.
RIP my lovely girl, Amber.


  1. I think you are right about her making her own decision.
    My mother says she wishes doctors would let people do the same thing.

  2. Roz it is always sad to loose an animal, and sadly as their life span is shorter than ours, we go through this trauma many times during our life. My first pony lived to 29 and I knew he had led a wonderful life, when the vet came in, it was the right time. As fly in the web says it would be nice if humans could also avoid suffering right to the last second. Diane

  3. Amber was about 35, so it was pretty amazing that she was fit enough to come here to live the last two years of her life. I am so grateful we had that time together.

  4. I connected with you at that difficult time, Roz, which was when you had your previous blog. And I remember how devastated you were. But now I see that you have come to an acceptance of what happened, and have peace in your heart about the experience. To remember those who are no longer with us with warmth in our hearts, whether it be animals or humans, helps us to cope with their physical absence, although. And I suspect that there will be times when you will sense her near you. It won't be your imagination, so enjoy.

  5. I simply cannot believe that is a year ago Roz. Incredible.

  6. Vera I remember you being so kind and that you were one of the people who helped me get through that difficult time. I was glad I had the blog as a means of venting my frustration at the events after her death, but you are right - I have learnt acceptance now.
    Alan I can't believe it either.


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